I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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