Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
