Those balls look pretty dangerous.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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