You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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