Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
