Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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