ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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