Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
