the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
