i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
