Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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