I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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