Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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