He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
