He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
