I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
soo... how was my night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
