You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
