he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
