i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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