in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
