you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I just sharted jello shots
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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