so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
