Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
