yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
