she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
