She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
