Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
