He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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