I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
