You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
