dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
