My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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