what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
