is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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