I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
