Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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