sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
