my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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