There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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