its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
