don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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