I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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