Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
