I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
