come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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