Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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