I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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