No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
