So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
