my mouth tastes like poor choices
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
