yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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