I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
