When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
