DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
