i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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