Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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