Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
