yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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