i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
