batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
