Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
