I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
