I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
